As I sit here, debating to lay my head down for the evening for MUCH needed rest, I begin to feel as though I need to write. Everyday, I feel as though I need to write...but everyday I struggle with how do I put into words the feelings I have...the conflict, the worry, frustration, sadness, joy, irritability, eagerness, excitement, boredom waiting...
This has been the most difficult experience of my life to date...not only have we dealt with fertility issues, IVF, IUI, low counts, bad eggs, good eggs, bad embryos, great A+ embryos, donors, today your pregnant, today your not pregnant, blood work, ultrasounds, pokes and prods...the statement " I think you should adopt", then the statement " I think we can make this work"...ARGH...... I am still full of hope... We begin the adoption process...
Almost a year later, we are still in the process, waiting....... ope is starting to fade. How do you wait? I thought that the fertility process was the most difficult...now we are faced with WAITING! Waiting IS by far, the most difficult process of my life. You are told that you will make a wonderful family to a special child and then you are faced with TIME...time to think, wait, think, dwell, wait, think, blah, blah, blah. I just want to be a wonderful family...RIGHT NOW!!!!
So the question is How do I wait? Tonight, I have no idea...maybe tomorrow I will know.
As I end this, I have just heard (on the tv) words that give me hope and I should think of often...
Keep your dream, you never know what tomorrow will bring....

We shall see what tomorrow will bring!